Guest post by Rachel Pace.
Image courtesy of Ambro at FreeDigitalPhotos.net
You’ve probably heard plenty of times that communication is vital in a marriage, and with good reason. Good communication really is the bedrock of a strong, healthy marriage. Communication covers everything from how you organize sharing chores or childcare, to how you handle disagreements, to how good you are at listening to and understanding each other’s point of view.
In short, if you want a strong marriage, good communication is your roadmap to getting there.
There is one aspect of marriage communication that doesn’t get talked about a whole lot though – silent communication. Some people balk when they hear that silence can be good for a marriage. After all, the “silent treatment” is a well known, and very unhealthy, way to hurt or get back at a partner.
That’s not what we’re talking about here. Giving your partner the silent treatment to express anger or to punish them, is an absolute no-no. But there are some ways in which silent communication can strengthen marriages. Let’s talk about those.
When You’re Silent, You Hear More
We live in a world where it seems like everybody wants to talk, all the time. We’re all guilty of it in our marriage sometimes – we want our partner to listen to us and hear all the things we want to tell them about our day, our opinions, and the trips and projects we need to organize together. We sometimes get so enthusiastic about what we want to say that we forget how overwhelming it can be for our other half, and how little space it leaves for what they want to say.
Try spending some time in silence when your spouse is talking. Instead of rushing to share your opinion or answer their points, listen quietly for a while. You’ll learn a lot about how they feel and where they’re coming from.
Silence Is A Good Way To Settle Emotions
If you’re feeling angry or frustrated at your partner, silence is a good way to settle your emotions. We don’t mean giving them the silent treatment. But if you’re simmering with anger, taking a time out is a good way to center yourself so you can express your feelings respectfully and calmly.
Next time you feel angry, don’t rush to tell your partner about it, or say something in haste that you might regret later. Instead, take a few moments to sit quietly, or even scream into a pillow if you need to. Then you can come back to the conversation feeling calmer and with the correct frame of mind to work on a resolution.
Companionable Silence Is Golden
Have you ever sat together quietly with your partner, not talking but simply enjoying each other’s company? Sitting in companionable silence with your husband shows that you’re truly comfortable with one another, and can enjoy being together without the need to talk.
Try it sometime. Pick a time when neither of you has any place to be or anything specific to do, and enjoy a little companionable silence. Get comfy, pour your favorite beverage, and enjoy being in each other’s company without talking. You might read or crochet or even play a game on your phone. You don’t have to sit idle. Just enjoy being together even when you’re doing different things.
Silent Communication Can Be Affirming
Words are only one way to communicate. There are many ways to communicate -like communicating silently, and it can be wonderfully warm and affirming for your spouse. You don’t need to talk to show your husband how much you love him. Try a hug, holding hands, stroking his hair or rubbing his shoulders. Send a text or leave a little love note. Even a warm smile when he catches your eye is a powerful way to show love and appreciation. Words are a vital and wonderful way to communicate, but they’re not the only way. Try a little silence from time to time – you never know how much closer it might bring the two of you.
Author Bio:- Rachel Pace is a relationship expert with years of experience in training and helping couples. She has helped countless individuals and organizations around the world, offering effective and efficient solutions for healthy and successful relationships. Her mission is to provide inspiration, support and empowerment to everyone on their journey to a great marriage. She is a featured writer for Marriage.com, a reliable resource to support healthy happy marriages.